Iron-Poor Tired Blood

[Albert Steve Frye]

My buddy listened to this audio sample and said I sound like I've got iron-poor tired blood, then fell off his chair laughing at his wit. (That was the slogan for a Geritol commercial aimed at old folks some 40-odd years ago.)
I am 62, and now that he mentions it, I guess I do sound slow and sluggish. What do you think?

Both files are the same, the smaller file is just the first minute (for those who don't like waiting for the entire download just to listen to a minute or so.)

Larger file is the entire 10-minute prologue and all tags should be in place (in case you check for that :-).

Any additional comments about quality and stuff will be much appreciated.

[Phil Brown]

Hi AS (or may I call you A?)

I am totally with you on the subject matter. Telling the story of the history of the Universe is what I live for.
Therefore I really want to help you make the most of your book.
A reader must consider tone of voice, pace and pitch as the major variables.
The key word here is 'variable'. There is absolutely nothing wrong with speaking slowly when the text calls for it. What no listener wants is monotony. You need to vary all the variables to suit the word, sentence and paragraph you are reading.
Go thru your text and mark it up. Consider each sentence. Is it beautiful (you have a lot of those), dramatic, difficult to understand, comic, tragic? Decide how to adjust your variables to suit each sentence.
Now think about your range. What is the fastest you can read? The slowest? The most dramatic? The funniest? Try varying your expression as you read. Try reading standing up. Stiffen your lips. Smile. Speak softly, loudly, etc. Play with the sounds. Find out what you are capable of.
Reading is a performance. Pretend you are speaking to a large hall. Now try speaking to somebody close to.
This is all easy to say and hard to do. I wish I could do it all when reading Time Crystal, but it gets easier and you get better at it as you gain confidence.
Now think about your audience. Who are you talking to? Male/female? Old/young? Clever/stupid? Try to imagine your target listener as you speak.
Above all remember that you have an important message to put across, and your writing is really strong, so you will achieve what you want eventually.
Best of luck.

[Albert Steve Frye]

You can call me Albert, or Steve, or Frye. I'm going to change my profile to reflect that right after I'm done here. I'm also known in many places as "grasshopper".

Thank you for your comments, Phil. Very informative. Very constructive. Read it over several times. Excellent advice!

[Nathan Lowell]

Phil has some good points.

I'd add "Don't read me a book. Tell me a story."

The production values seem pretty decent, but your delivery is a tad deliberate.

[Craig Robertson]

Albert, I agree w/Nathan and Phil, about the cadence and tone. I've said this to others before: remember, you're having fun, so let it show! Read Jeff Kafer's comments on Nathan's discussion chain "If I could start over again", if you haven't already. In the promo, there's too much music spacing out the text, speed it up a bit. Once people enjoy you, they will put up w/lots to listen (I still listen to Morevi, even the parts where Tee's recording has a painful feedback-like tone, because I love the story) , but you have to grab them at the start, or you lose them for good. Check out, for example, the blog discussion for Traitor.. There are as many compliments as there are negative remarks about Mark's reading style. Also, I'm not sure how many people actually hear our promos who are not already inclined to download our work, but make them snappy anyway. Above all, remember, none of us were born w/these narration/production talents, we all learned them, so hang tough.....craig

[Albert Steve Frye]

Yes, this is exactly the feedback I was looking for. Thank you Nathan and Craig.
Checked out Traitor blog. Good stuff.
I'm working on my delivery, and I do believe I'm getting the hang of it. But the true test will be what you think. Will post another sample within the week.

[Craig Robertson]

The examples I site for who has the best delivery is Chris, in House Of Grey. We vocal mortals can't hope to be nearly as good, but he sets a standard to strive for. Nathan has a warm delivery, and is also an excellent model to follow. We all love Pip's voice, as in Chasing the Bard, but no one is going to achieve that Olympian quality. A good example of a more contavercial voice is JP's in Toothless. I absolutely love the story and his voice, but several people comment on his delivery in a negative vein. PS: notice I don't refer you to Anon Time as a delivery example, so take my comments in a positive light, knowing I am in little position to be snarky....craig

[Albert Steve Frye]

Phil:
In this revised edition, I took to heart what I consider the two most important points you made:

Go thru your text and mark it up. Consider each sentence.
Decide how to adjust your variables to suit each sentence.

Unfortunately the prologue requires a lot of sober declarative sentences, but fear not! When necessary, I'll be able to mix it up.

Nathan:
I hope this sounds a little less deliberate to you. It does to me.

Craig:
As per your advice, I've tightened up the music pretty drastically. Personally, I'm not thrilled with this shortened version, but I thought I'd throw it out there for anyone to comment on.
Listented to Chris's House of Grey and got some pointers there.
Had trouble locating some of the others. Will get back to you on that.


I have uploaded two samples.
Conflation presents a few sentences from the old prologue and then immediately after that, the same sentences from the new, so the comparison can be easily seen. And after listening it should become abundantly clear why my friend, who is used to listening to me talk normally, made the comment leading to the title of this discussion.

It is only a very short sample because listening to that kind of stuff gets old real fast. (Trust me, I know :)

New Prologue is of course simply the entire prologue with new and (hopefully) improved narration.
Have a listen and let me know what you all think.

[Nathan Lowell]

MUCH better narration but it sounds clipped to me. I downloaded it and opened it in Audacity and it looks clipped, too.

That should be something you can fix unless you pushed the recording levels too high and clipped it when you recorded. it.

[Albert Steve Frye]

Sorry, but I need a little help. How could you tell it sounded a little clipped?
The reason I ask is because I would like to know what to listen for.

Also, I've always thought that clipping only occurred when recording levels were set too high. But I see you are implying that there is possibly another way.

[Nathan Lowell]

when you listen to it, it sounds "crackly"

when you look at the wave form, it's chopped off at the tops.

If you amplify it too much after it's recorded, the tops of the waves get clipped off, just the same way as if you overdrive it on recording.

[Albert Steve Frye]

Okay, got it.
Thanks.


Well, it doesn't seem like there will be many opinions posted regarding my new and improved prologue.

Thank you, Nathan, for your effort.

I think I will just go ahead and record the book and then upload it, (assuming it meets all the technical requirements). Going to re-do the prologue, too.

[Craig Robertson]

I agree, sounds better. The podcasts I mentioned are all on Poddiobooks, or can be downloaded from itunes. Chipping has to do with how these sound files are made. I'm not real technical, but basically all sound recorded has to be fitted into the file, so mathematical manipulations are done to standardize them. This causes sounds beyond a certain level of loud to contain error, or chipping. If you look at your sound level meters, chipping occurs when your in the red zone. You should have a slide control to damped the over dB's, and both drop the volume and stay out of the red. Unfortunately, for my programs, each time I move them, I have to look at the level and possibly adjust them.